


Oleander

by orphan_account



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 2nd POV, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, They aren't mentioned by name, a little angsty, oleander - Freeform, self doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:24:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13464918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He calls himself an Oleander.





	Oleander

**Author's Note:**

> Oikawa struggling with self doubt from Iwazumi's pov.
> 
> I sort of based this off the Mother Mother song Oleander but it mostly has to do with symbolism of the actual flower.

When asked to describe himself in one word he would respond with “Oleander” in a surprisingly serious tone of voice.

  
You are confused. He tells you it's a flower.

  
Beautiful and bright. A soft tint of pink or a luminous hue.

They're easy on the eyes and simply, beautiful like him.

  
You would laugh it off and joke about his vain comparison. You tell him to stop being so dumb.

  
Of course he would compare himself to something so pretty.

  
He would smile and then act like nothing happened.

He continues on with his day.

  
Everything is normal.

  
Later on when you are in your room, you think back to what he said. It bothers you, but you don't know why.

  
An Oleander is a small plant with pretty pink flowers blooming from its branches.

  
It is toxic in all parts.

The next day you see him.

He smiles when he sees you, laughing and waving as you approach.

  
You tell him to stop making a scene and give him a whack on the top of his head like a scolding mother.

  
He whines and responds in an over dramatic fashion.

  
You walk to class with him.

  
Practice is as usual.

Everything is normal.

  
He messes up.

  
It's not a big deal, but he grits his teeth and clenches his fist in frustration.

  
When you are changing you glance over at him.

  
He looks, tired and resigned.

  
When you walk over to him the mask is back on and he acts like everything is normal.

  
And for a while, everything is.

  
The mask slips again.

  
You don't know what caused it, and you don't ask.

But one day after practice you see him staring bitterly at the ground.

  
He's shaking and holding back tears.

  
You stay silent and embrace him.

  
He thanks you.

  
When you hang out together you want to confront him but you don't know how.

  
His mask is back up.

  
And you don't know how to take it off.

  
As you lay together sweaty and tired, you tell him you love him.

  
He is silent.

  
Until he asks why.

  
You call him stupid, and you give him a soft punch with no ill intent behind it.

  
He smirks for a second and then it's gone.

  
The mask is off.

  
He asks how can you love someone like him. Someone so poisonous. He brings waste to those around him.

  
He is holding everyone back.

  
He is toxic.

  
He is an oleander.

  
You grab his shoulders and look him in the eyes. You tell him he is not poisonous. He is holding no one back. That the team needs him and admires him. That you need him.

  
He softens under your touch.

  
His head falls into the crook of your neck, and he is crying.

  
He shakes and heaves and clings to you.  
You cling onto him right back.

  
He isn't an oleander. He isn't poisonous.

  
He isn't worthless.

  
He is kind.

  
Sometimes a little over dramatic (okay a more than sometimes).

  
Intelligent, bright, and wonderful. 

He is courage and strength. Fear and fragility.

  
He is so many different things.

  
And you love all of him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Hope it wasn't too much of a disappointment. I decided to write this instead of updating my other two works and writing an essay. But this was short as hell so whatever. Feedback is always appreciated.
> 
> This whole self doubt thing was something I thought oikawa would have a problem with. The feeling of letting people down is something I know all too well and it's hard not to beat yourself up about it. Anyway I was thinking about that and I vomited this out.


End file.
